As For You…Follow Me

Hey everyone! I wanted to write this and update you all that I will be headed back out on the field as a Squad Leader with the World Race in January 2020! So pumped for it and this opportunity!

This blog is longer, I know, but I wanted to include my heart and some of the things God has been working on in me during this time, so bear with me! I am seeking support both prayerfully and financially and I include the specifics at the end. Thanks for reading and hearing out my heart! 

 

There’s this interaction in the last chapter of John that I’ve always loved. I remember the first time that I read it and how profoundly it struck me. I remember going back and reading over it, again and again. It’s incredible. Even today, it is one of my favorite “scenes”  from the Bible. This section has been on my heart recently and I’d like to share it with you today.  

The scene is this moment in John chapter 21, starting in verse 15 and continuing through to the end of John. To set the scene, this is following the death and resurrection of Jesus, and at this point, he has appeared to the disciples a couple of times. The disciples had been out all night fishing and had caught nothing. It is in this moment, in the wee hours of the morning, that Jesus appears to them and calls out for them to cast their nets to the other side; where, of course, they catch HUNDREDS of fish. The disciples come in from their work and sit down for breakfast and this is where we pick up the scene. 

In verse 15, Jesus turns to Peter and asks, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?”

Peter responds, “Yes Lord, you know I love you,” and Jesus replies, “Then feed my lambs.” 

 

 

In verse 16, Jesus again asks, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” 

Again, and I’d like to think maybe slightly annoyed or bothered, Peter responds, “Yes Lord, you know I love you.” Jesus then says to him, “Then take care of my sheep.”

 

And if twice wasn’t enough, we get one more time, for in verse 17 Jesus asks once again, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter, clearly hurt by this, responds, “Lord, you know everything. You know that I love you.” 

After this, you can probably guess how Jesus responds. He says, “Then feed my sheep.” 

 

So this is a pretty powerful section in and of itself, and there’s some cool things to dive into when looking at the words used by Peter and Jesus. It’s all very interesting. But it’s actually not the part I want to hone in on. I want to look at this small exchange that happens right after this. 

See following the above exchange, Jesus goes on to share with Peter by what kind of death he would glorify God, he does this in verse 18. Our Bibles tell us that he concluded this with these words in verse 19:

“Follow me.” 

 

Pretty intense right? I would imagine that no matter who you are, that type of information could be daunting to receive. Have you ever tried to picture Peter’s face in that moment? What do you think? Go read that section in John 21:18-19. How must that feel? What words would you use to describe that?

Jesus, the man whom Peter loves, who he cares for and would follow anywhere; is telling Peter how he will die to bring glory to God. What words come to mind? Because it is, truly, a beautiful love. But also, isn’t that kind of scary? Sort of Hard? 

Verses 20 and 21 give us maybe one small glimpse into Peter and what he might be thinking in this moment. The Bible says Peter looked around and that his gazed rested on John, and he asked, “What about him, Lord?”

Now I’m no scholar. So it’s possible that there is so much more to this moment than what I see. But when I read this, I see a man in Peter, totally in love with Jesus. I see him hearing what lays before him and what he is being called to, and I see him pause, just slightly. I see the reality set more deeply and what it means, and I see him look around at everyone else. I see the recognition in his face of what Jesus is asking of him, and I see and hear him say, What about them? Will you also ask this of them? 

Again, maybe I misinterpret, but it feels like, for maybe just a moment, Peter might be thinking: Man Jesus, I love you, and you know I’ll follow you, but that is really, really hard. You’re…going to ask everyone else to do this too, right? 

Peter heard what Jesus said, looked at where he was at and then looked to the others; and what did he do? He compared. He measured his place to theirs. He saw the cards he was dealt and wondered if it was worth it. If this was really right. 

Let’s go back to the scene quick, for the close. So we have this, Peter after hearing of his eventual death, looks around at John and asks this question of Jesus in verse 21, “What about him, Lord?” Jesus, in verse 22, looks to Peter and says:

 “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? As for you, follow me.”

Whatever doubting or fear, or question and comparison that might have befallen Peter and crept in amidst that moment, Jesus answered simply and directly; if you love me, follow me. 

 

 

If I could give you all the details of my last year. All the inner workings and intricacies to everything I felt, thought, and experienced; you would see the beautiful moments. You would see the scary ones. And you would see the hard ones. 

There were many moments this year, and even now as I’ve been home, moments where I stopped and looked around. Looked at where I was at compared with others, and wondered. Questioned. What about them? What about where they’re at? What they have? Will I get that? I’m almost 28, should I be doing that? Thinking about that? Is this wise? Does it make sense? Is this right? 

These moments have never been anything too big. Too overwhelming. Mostly small, at most maybe an off day or two, not major. But yet, every now and then, these questions have found their way in and it happened, just as it did with Peter; an ever slight pause. 

And each time, in each moment, I’ve felt this pull, or maybe a nudge. Similar to that of the one that Peter had. That moment with Jesus looking, and he begins to ask me:

 

“Do you truly love me with all my heart, soul, mind and strength? Are you truly content and fully satisfied in me? Do I have all of you? Do you fear me? Are you in awe of me?Do you love me?” 

 

And in my heart I feel those words rise, ones very similar to those of Peter: Yes Lord, you know I love you. 

 

“Then as for you, follow me.”

 

This past September I was asked to be a Squad Leader for the next World Race Expedition team leaving in January, 2020. I wrestled a lot with this one and spent a good while praying and seeking wisdom. After all of this, I felt the Lord was calling me to follow him, and that this is what he had for me. I’ve definitely had my moments of questioning; felt nervous and apprehensive for what this means and where I am at in life. But each time those questions have come, I’ve been met by Jesus. I truly do want to follow him, whatever that means and to wherever that takes me; that’s where I want to go. 

So, I’ll be leaving soon. Very soon! 10 days to be exact. How crazy is that!? I could use some help as I begin to prepare for this launch and this next season. I am looking for people to partner with me in prayer over the course of the next 8 months as we are out on the field. I will be leaving with 26 racers and 5 other leaders and we will be traveling to approximately 6 countries before I return: Australia, Indonesia, India, Nepal, China and Kyrgyzstan. Be praying for smooth and safe travel, good health, and that the Lord would open doors and work in mighty ways in our team and in these communities. 

Along with this, I am also looking for people to come alongside me in financial support. I am in the process of raising $9000 which will go towards covering food, housing, travel, and my ministry expenses for the course of this time. If you would like to partner with me in this, you can give via the donation tab at the top, where all donations are tax exempt, or you can contact me individually. My email is [email protected] and my phone number is 574-354-1467.

I’m pumped for this next season and what is to come! Thank you all for allowing me to share my heart! I am excited for what God has in store! Love you all!